The topic of introversion has surfaced before on this blog. I’ve always been an introvert, and sadly, when I was young, no one quite understood what that meant. Not my parents. Not my sisters. Not my friends. “She’s just quiet,” they’d say. “She’s just shy.” My lack of willing conversation went far beyond being quiet or shy—two modifiers that, in truth, do describe me, at least at times. But for me, introversion meant spending time, and a lot of it, alone. If I wanted to stay at home, friends complained. If I wanted to remain in my room instead of being with everyone else in the family room, my parents worried. If I concocted ways to avoid speaking to people, I’d be seen as odd. And if I needed to recharge by myself after being in a room full of people, noise, and overstimulating visuals, anyone with me at the time rolled their eyes.

Until now.

The other day on the phone, my younger sister basically told me, “I get it now. I completely and utterly understand why you turn inward and what doing so does for you.” Apparently my older sister also understands me better now.

Well that’s great! I finally feel seen by my family. Based on a little sleuthing online, I also feel seen by my peers, colleagues, and fellow Instagram users. And yet, Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, understood me all along:

Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to. Stay home on New Year’s Eve if that’s what makes you happy. Skip the committee meeting. Cross the street to avoid making aimless chitchat with random acquaintances. Read. Cook. Run. Write a story. Make a deal with yourself that you’ll attend a set number of social events in exchange for not feeling guilty when you beg off.

The book was published in 2012, well after my birth and formative years, but I sort of want to read it again, check its references, and see what and who understood introversion long before social media really took off and made me aware that, as much as I like to be alone, I’m not alone in that feeling. And you know what? I just might. The last few years have proven to me that I have to do what I feel is best for myself, and rereading a book sounds like the perfect thing to do on a cold Ohio winter day.

Image of sleeping kitten by Gundula Vogel from Pixabay.com