Dear Aaron.

I sat down to write the usual birthday letter, and I got to thinking about children growing up and maturing. Which led to wondering what songs in the public domain (in case I wanted to print some lyrics) actually deal with growing up, which led to “The Farmer in the Dell.” I’m sure you remember that song—we sang it quite a bit along with all the other kid-friendly songs back in the day. But if not, I’ll wait here while you refresh your memory.

…

You’re back? Wonderful. What did you think? Did you sing the song as you looked over the words? (Full disclosure: I did.) The song is simple, right? The farmer takes a wife, the wife takes a child, the child takes a nurse, and so on, until everyone has found their place in the circle. (Except for the cheese, which is something we will come back to.) When I was young and when you were young, we sang the song without giving much thought to the choices the farmer etc. made, but as I looked at those words earlier today, a new appreciation for them washed over me. Appreciation for the concept of choices.

You are, at this point in time, at a slice of life where you’re making some larger choices. About schools. About friends. About significant others. About life’s purpose. About what you want out of life and what you want life to look like for you. Some choices are made with others in mind, and some are not, some are made for convenience, and some take courage. Some will usher you where you want to go, while others might send you somewhere unexpected. Many of those decisions will be made without input from me or your father (at least for the most part), and if I think too long about that, my nerves start to fray. Why? Because it brings up two questions:

1. Did I (we) raise you with enough common sense, knowledge, critical thinking skills, and more to make those choices by yourself?
2. Did I (we) raise you with the capacity to stand alone, like the cheese? (I told you we’d get there.)

I’d like to think I (we) did.

So go live your life. Make those choices and be confident in what you choose. I (we) will be here to support you, no matter what. And remember that loving you and your siblings has never been a choice I’ve had to think twice about.

May this next trip around the sun bring you the courage to make your own choices, the wisdom to recognize the good ones, the grace to learn from the not-so-good ones, and the freedom to create a life that feels entirely your own.

Happy twenty-second birthday, Little Red.
I love you.

Mom

P.S. Want to know what the sign in that photo means? The translation made me laugh out loud: “Dear dog and owner, don’t poop here like you usually do.”