The old saying is to write what you know, and author Caitlin Avery has done just that. In 2010, she released a memoir “that’s about learning from her mistakes, and learning how to accept herself entirely—one that alters her love life eternally.” She then poured her personal experience on several fronts into her women’s fiction and action-adventure series. Readers are drawn to the strong female characters in Caitlin’s books, calling them “relatable,” “brave,” and “empowering,” words that must give Caitlin joy every time she reads them. She has four books out now, and readers are looking forward to more to come.

Welcome, Caitlin!

Christina: One of your recent books is Life of Cyn, a women’s fiction standalone that features Cyn Mckinley, “a flawed but sympathetic everywoman.” I love the idea of an “everywoman.” What does the term “everywoman” mean to you? How did you go about crafting this character?

Caitlin: An Amazon reviewer used the term “everywoman” to describe the main character in Life of Cyn and I agree that suits her. When the book opens, Cynthia McKinley is having a midlife crisis centered around lingering trauma from a sex assault that happened to her as a teen and the troubles caused by her drinking, which has steadily increased throughout the years. So many women around the world have been victims of assault, and over the last decade there’s been a rise in women binge-drinking. Many addictive behaviors are rooted in trying to escape one’s feelings, so I believe there may be a bigger correlation, since there was for me. Life of Cyn is inspired by real events, and like me, Cyn’s drinking increased after her rape in high school. Now, twenty years later, she must confront those issues if she wants to save her marriage. The number of readers who’ve reached out to me to say they related to Cyn in some way is staggering. Hence, the term “everywoman.”

Christina:  As you stated, Cyn is a victim of sexual assault and struggles with alcohol addiction and anxiety. How did you manage the heaviness in the story so the reader doesn’t feel weighed down?

Caitlin: The reader is presented with Cyn’s alcoholic tendency in relation to her trauma starting with chapter one, and it’s clear she doesn’t have a handle on either one. She immediately sets an intention to right both of those wrongs when she quits drinking entirely while contemplating ways to get even with her assailant. So there is hope from the get-go, and the topic of vengeance is meant to intrigue people who’ve experienced sex assault. As a survivor of teenage rape, I wanted to examine what might happen if justice came many years later, and how that might influence a victim’s ability to heal from the trauma—or not. Vigilante justice is an exciting part of this story, but as it evolves, the message becomes learning how to clean up your side of the street when it comes to conflict and trauma. The steps Cyn takes to improve her circumstances, amidst her mistakes, are meant to inspire faith that a happy ending is possible. Cyn’s journey is as heavy as it is relatable. I wrote it to promote the concept of recovery in the aftermath of tragedy.

Christina: I appreciate your candor with respect to your own sexual assault and calling out your rapist on Facebook. How difficult was it for you to do that? What did you learn from the experience? Do you have any tips for anyone else who might be contemplating something similar but has reservations in doing so?

Caitlin: When the Stanford rapist was released from prison early (after serving half of his six-month sentence), I was infuriated, and I decided to warn people about my own rapist because I knew of two other victims by him and suspected there were more. Having recently moved back to the area where I grew up, I learned that my rapist still lived in the area and wondered how I’d react if I ran into him. I was afraid I’d make a scene and “go off” on him, so I did a preemptive strike instead, posted a brief paragraph about my assault by him on Facebook, and learned of nine other victims in twenty-four hours.

My goal was three-fold: I wanted to shame him, warn the local community about him, and let other victims to know they were not alone. Nervous about the legality of my accusation without proof, I only used his initials to identify him, but almost everyone I was connected to from high school knew who I was talking about because he was such a jerk back then. In addition to the other victims of his sex assault, two guys reached out to tell me he physically and verbally bullied them in school. The only problem with using his initials was the one mistaken identity. After someone thought my rapist was a different guy with the same initials, I started identifying my assailant by his full name in the area where we grew up. I decided not to say his name on social media because I didn’t want random people on the internet to go after him. That’s not the point. But whenever I tell my story in an area where someone could run into him in person, during author talks, book club meetings, or private conversations, I use his full name. During one local book club meeting, I shared his name, and the first thing everyone did was Google him. It turned out one of the book club members worked for a company that does business with his company, so she was very happy to see his name and face and be able to watch out for him.

The experience of outing him in 2015 was very difficult, but I have no regrets and it has definitely been worth it. Initially, I was worried he might come after me legally or with violence. A lawyer who is an alumnus from my high school and supported what I was doing offered me free advice. He said my assailant couldn’t successfully sue me for libel or slander if what I was saying about him was true. He also said that if I continued to go after him online, he’d have to react. That might come in the form of a cease-and-desist letter, but whatever move he made, it would draw him into my life. That totally freaked me out since I wanted nothing to do with the guy, but as my fears about him coming after me with violence increased, I started driving around town with a bat in my car. This reaction was encouraged by his other victims who shared their stories with me in the weeks after I outed him, which “triggered” me a lot. Sworn to secrecy, because other women didn’t want their stories to be shared with anyone, I kept all the horrible details to myself and that got very intense. I should’ve sought therapy at that time but didn’t and wound up having a panic attack that landed me in the ER. That’s when I shut the conversation down online.

About a week after the initial posts where I outed him and then shared the news that there were nine others, I posted a final statement on Facebook to say I’d achieved my goal to shame him, warn people about him, and let other victims know they were not alone, and then I stopped talking about it publicly. The conversation continued for months offline as people continued to contact me, including a reporter for New England Cable Network. He’d heard about my story from someone from my high school and wanted to interview me. After weeks of living in fear, I said no to the interview. A year and a half later, the #metoo movement started, and with all the women talking openly about their assailants online, I wished I’d been even more aggressive about getting even with mine. That’s when the idea for Life of Cyn came to me, and I decided to write a novel about a woman who goes after her rapist twenty years after the fact and manages to do everything I wish *we* could’ve down to *ours.*

When I started marketing that book in the months before it released, I used my personal story as the hook and posted daily reels on Tiktok and Instagram about my serial high school rapist, which brought him back into the light again. At one point I got word that he was suicidal, so I backed off on my attack. I didn’t want him to kill himself; I wanted him to realize the error of his ways and change. I still have no intention to ruin his life—that won’t do anything for me or the other victims, and it won’t prevent him from hurting others.

I have no idea how he is doing now, but I’ve healed completely and forgive him—which means I let go of my anger about it. I don’t have any emotional response when I talk about my assault anymore, and I attribute that to all the practice I’ve had. I told three people the day after it happened and continued to share about it in private conversations with friends and in therapy throughout the years. Then I went public and wrote about it in my memoir (my first book), posted on Facebook, and eventually used it as fodder for Life of Cyn. I’ve been doing podcasts and written interviews ever since and no longer carry any shame about it because I put all the shame on him, where it belonged.

The main advice I have for other victims is to talk about your trauma with someone, anyone who’s a trusted confidante, and/or write about it. I think writing all the details down can be cathartic and burning the pages in a fire can be therapeutic. Both of those things are free. I also recommend therapy, but not everyone can afford that, so talking to a friend or family member and writing your memories down on paper are my top recommendations.

Christina: Your Amazon bio states that you write about women who “can’t resist dangerous impulses.” Does that describe you? How do you go about crafting these dangerous impulses, and is there any dangerous impulse you won’t write about?

Caitlin: I write about women whose lives are amiss and can’t resist dangerous impulses, and that includes my memoir. I’ve lived quite an adventurous life and have had many dangerous experiences related to hard-core physical activities or drinking related chaos. I got sober in 1991, the year after I was assaulted in high school, but I tried drinking again after I finished college. I have ten years of sobriety now and no longer indulge in dangerous impulses around alcohol or drugs. I’m still a thrill-seeker though, and at fifty-one I get my adrenaline rush from things like skiing and mountain biking. My books appeal to readers who have a wild side or prefer to live vicariously through my characters. I can’t think of any topic I’d declare as off-limits when it comes to writing, but I’m not out to horrify anyone. I just want to share my truth and not keep any secrets that could damage me. Being honest about my problems has helped me get past them, and I enjoy helping others reckon with their own skeletons.

Christina: Over on Instagram you talk about drawing from your own experiences. Do you find the experience, or do you think the experience finds you?

Caitlin: I have no idea if my experiences find me, or if I find them. I guess that’s a question regarding fate. I believe everyone has the ability to change their trajectory in life, so one’s fate isn’t a fixed destiny. I’ve made plenty of mistakes throughout my life, but I have no regrets because everything I’ve been through has gotten me where I am right now, which is a really great place.

Christina: Congratulations on the publication of The Last Con, which is the second book in your adventure series. You’ve now tackled memoir, women’s fiction, action adventure—is it difficult being a multi-genre writer? Do you have a favorite genre? Do you gravitate toward one more than the other?

Caitlin: As a reader, my favorite genre is dramatic fiction so that’s what I tend to write. I add humor to my books to lighten their load. When I started out as an author, I had no idea what I was doing, besides trying to tell an entertaining story. So I didn’t stick to one genre, although all of my fiction falls under the women’s fiction umbrella because it focuses on a journey that alters the protagonist in some way. It’s been difficult to market my action-adventure series (The Catrina Lang Adventures) after the success of Life of Cyn because they are quite different. I don’t have the same remarkable hook for the adventure series as “outing my high school’s serial rapist on Facebook.” But I can only write the stories I want to write because I’ve written every single one of them for me. The trick is to establish a marketing plan that finds readers who think like I do.

Christina: Switching gears a bit now—you were an actor for fifteen years. What did you learn from acting that you apply to writing? Would you consider going back to acting?

Caitlin: I recently took a vacation in LA, and it was a wild trip down memory lane. It’s crazy to realize that many of the people who know me in Boston have no clue I was an actress. It was a huge part of my life for twenty years, since I was a theatre major first, at the University of Colorado and then worked as a SAG actress for fifteen years in LA. I don’t miss acting and won’t pursue it again. I had a great time mastering that craft, but I don’t think I was meant to do that as a career. Writing is my first love and I set out to write my first book at age six but didn’t have the stamina. Starting at age ten, I used to hide under the covers at night with a flashlight writing poems. I didn’t study writing in college because it seemed unnecessary, since I’d practiced writing all my life. But my pursuit of acting gave me two huge benefits when it comes to writing. First, with upwards of 1,000 auditions under my belt, I’m a pro at handling rejection—like water off a duck’s back. And with all the years I spent “walking in someone else’s shoes,” as an actress, I have a real knack for character development.

Christina: Cats! I have to ask about your cats. How many do you have? What role do they play in your family? In your writing? Any and all details appreciated!

Caitlin: OMG Cats! I love both of my rescue cats and they are saving me right now after we had to put our beloved dog down. We got a kitten in January, and he is the CUTEST. Ozzy is as spunky as he is cuddly, and our whole family is in love. Well, maybe not our older cat, Sadie. She has come to tolerate him, but their bond continues to strengthen as Ozzy learns to stop jumping on her all the time. My author bio says that I live with my husband and son, and the dog and cats who rescued me. We rescued our dog Ginger ten years ago and put her to sleep earlier in the summer. I’ve cried a thousand tears so far. Thanks to the cats and my boys, there’s still plenty to love around here. And with Ozzy, there’s never a lack of entertainment, around the clock if the little sucker sneaks into my room at night.

Christina: What does literary success mean to you?

Caitlin: My definition of literary success is pretty simple, and I reached literary success with my first book because it found readers who got something out of it. Written in 2002 when I was twenty-nine and trying to get my life together, it’s a memoir about my search for love and enlightenment in LA. Despite it being an important steppingstone, it feels quite amateurish to me now, and I’ve thought about taking it down in recent years because it’s not on par with my novels. But then I’ll get a review from someone who said it spoke to them. It has served an important role in my life since it proved I could entertain people with my writing, and that’s what has kept me going in a field that really does not pay well.

Life of Cyn has been my most successful book yet. It sold 100 copies in the first three days, earned out (paid for its own production) in five months, and has 100,000 page reads in Kindle unlimited so far. Even though it turned a profit early on, it still doesn’t come close to my income as a personal trainer. I love being a personal trainer and only work fifteen hours a week to cover my bills. My books pay for themselves and turn a little profit, but more important to me are the awards they’ve gotten and the incredible and encouraging reviews I get from readers. I always say, when I walk into an event as an author, that if my story speaks to at least one person in the audience and entertains them or moves them in a positive way, then I’ve been successful. Would I love to see my action-adventure series on the big screen someday? Heck yeah! But I’m not banking on it. I’ve had people tell me after reading Life of Cyn that they quit drinking or are seeking therapy for their assault. That is the greatest success I can think of, using my pain and difficulties to ease the pain and difficulty in someone else’s life, like turning lemons into lemonade. Lemonade has become my drink of choice these days—a great alternative to the dangerous impulses of my youth.

Caitlin can be found in multiple places!
Website: https://www.caitlinavery.com/
X: @caitlin_avery
Instagram: @caitlin_avery_author
Facebook: @caitlinaveryauthor

Thanks to Caitlin for agreeing to this interview! If you know of an author or artist who’d like to be featured in an interview (or you would like to be featured), feel free to leave a comment or email me via my contact page.