Identity Crisis

One of my personal Gmail accounts has been in existence since January 4, 2005. Since that time, I’ve entered that address when I shop online; I’ve given it to schools, churches, sports teams, and music teachers; it finds its way to contact forms for nonprofits and other organizations I support. And since that time, I’ve received some interesting emails suggesting that the email address found its way onto a list to which I didn’t personally subscribe: over 200 emails a month trickle into my spam folder.

Sometimes, though, emails are just personal enough that I know someone inadvertently spelled an email address wrong and entered mine instead. Twice, I (actually, someone named Christopher) have been invited to open houses on the West Coast, and one time, I (er, Christopher) was invited to a wedding shower in Denver, Colorado. I’ve received an invoice for tuition from a school in Hawaii, a receipt for a table in the United Kingdom, and directions to a party in Boston. Most of the time, I delete the email, while other times, I reply. (In the case of the tuition invoice, I really didn’t want the intended recipient—Christopher—to suffer any harsh penalties.)

Recently, it’s come to my attention that my email address has been added to some “relationship” listserv. I’ve already received three emails addressed to Christopher (it’s always Christopher! I’ve never received an email addressed to another Christina, Christine, Christi, etc.), all of which say pretty much the same thing:

Hi Christopher! My name is X, it is my e mail box.

What is Christopher is up to? Where did these ladies find his email address? Would they understand the concept of the comma splice if I explained it to them?

And then, a few days after those emails arrived, another one popped into my box.

The subject line read: “Hurry Up! Complete your Horny & Spicy registration!” Well that explained a lot now, didn’t it?

I didn’t click on the activate button, but my curiosity was piqued. A search for the website revealed that you can “register free now and see where it takes you. Meet exciting people & find what you are looking for. Chat with new people around you!”

Well that might be great for Christopher, but it’s not something I’m interested in. Chatting with new people? Too much stress for this introvert.

Let’s hope the number of wrong emails begins to subside soon. I’m beginning to experience an identity crisis.

Image of social media icon by kirstyfields from

Leave a Comment