Adjusting My Aim

We have five four-legged animals who live with us. As much as I love them, they do require some maintenance. We buy good food and litter for the cats, as well as good food and toys for the dog. We have veterinarian costs to think about, too. I’ve been thinking lately that these friends of ours might as well start earning their keep. Hence, I’ve compiled a list of tasks that I’d like to teach our furry feline and canine friends.

  1. How to open the back door (so the dog can go out).
  2. How to get the dog food out of the garage and the cat food out of the box in the basement.
  3. How to use the toilet so we don’t need litter boxes (clearly this is with respect to the cats).
  4. How to refill the water bowl.
  5. How to answer the phone.
  6. How to throw clothes in the washing machine, transfer the clothes to the dryer, and fold them.
  7. How to clean the toilets.
  8. How to dust the furniture.
  9. How to bring in the mail without running away from the house.
  10. How to drive a car.
  11. How to drive that car to go grocery shopping (without eating all the groceries).
  12. How to cook and clean up after meals.
  13. How to vacuum the carpets, mow the lawn, and weed the flower beds.
  14. How to listen attentively to the four two-legged animals that live in the house.
  15. How to make me a cup of coffee.

I’m sure I could find a plethora of other tasks to be done by this crew, but I’ll stop there. Oddly enough, it didn’t hit me until I’d written the list that I’ve been going about my life all wrong. It’s fine if the five four-legged animals don’t do these things, as long as the four two-legged animals do.

And so, this summer, I’ll be adjusting my aim here, folks. Stay tuned.

Written by

Christina Consolino is a mother, dreamer, author, editor and teacher from Dayton, Ohio. She's a member of the Plot Sisters and teaches Anatomy & Physiology at Sinclair Community College. She writes women's fiction, young adult fiction, personal essays, and more.